What She Thought
by eseldie
Summary: Allow the one you love bring out your honesty.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Human Target and intend no copyright infringement.**

Author's Notes: Ilsa doesn't like Maria...in fact I don't like Maria either. But in more recent news, I have been exercising like a fiend and I never thought I'd say I get angry when I can't go for a run. Anyway, one of my fave scenes was when the two of those ladies were having a battle of wits. And personally, if I were Ilsa, I would traded Maria's life for Diego's. In fact, I woulda traded her butt for a cheesesteak. Anyway kids..enjoy and thank you for reading. :) P.S...I have NEVER written in first person...it's weird.

******What She Thought**

I'm not the jealous type. In fact, I am confident in everything that I have done, am doing, or will be doing every second of my life. But this….this is a bit different. This requires me to look deep into myself and ask why I even have a slight twinge of jealousy. Jealousy over another woman.

My husband always had countless numbers of women hanging on him and saying what a wonderful man he was. I knew they were only interested in the money that lined his pockets and the glamour that surrounded him. I could watch them for hours, but I knew at the end of the night, I would be the lucky one to go to bed with him. Of course that somewhat changed at my team's discovery of his infidelity. But it is all in the past and I have overcome his need to branch out.

But now here I stand staring like a silly teenage girl, at the woman that had attempted to steal Chance's heart…Maria Gallego. I can be honest in saying that she was more of the type to compliment him. She had the rough and tough go-getter attitude and probably never backed down from a challenge. She dressed simplistically in cargo pants and the one shirt that didn't hold a bloodstain. She had a shoulder bag that could barely hold a cellphone and lip gloss. Her hair, oddly enough was gorgeous. Long flowing locks that seemed to stay in place like she didn't just travel a million miles to find him. She wasn't wearing makeup, which indicated she held natural beauty. I'm not mocking her style, but she most likely wasn't as concerned about this year's runway fashions. So we were indeed two different women. Again, I don't know why I'm jealous because it's not like Chance belongs to me. I certainly think the man is attractive and has more than a few qualities that I admire. But is the feeling mutual? Who knows?

As for Maria, I stacked her up as soon as I saw her. You can tell when a person is genuine about their intentions. In my philanthropy world it was always evident. You could just read people who were greedy money hogs and those who would rather give over their fortune than see it go to waste in their pockets. Maria was like one of those people. She sold a good story and played Chance well enough for him to fall for it. I didn't like that she had this control over him, but it was not my place to step in and say anything. I don't want the man to be hurt, but I also know that sometimes people need to learn on their own. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries.

When I walked in to make the jet reservations, I watched her. She subtly laid a hand on his forearm when she spoke; she looked deep into his eyes and made him hang on to every single word she said. She was good. She could have gotten him do anything. It was working, because here I was preparing my personal jet to send my team off to certain death. Yes, I now determined that I was jealous. It had nothing to do with the attraction to Chance, but Maria's blatant disregard for his friends and their safety. But I willingly went forward with this debauchery. If Chance was ok with it and Winston still stayed on board, then I was obligated as the team funder.

I continued watching, as she got closer to him with each word she spoke. I wondered what she could possibly be saying to him that he smiled and stayed so interested. He normally walked away from me when I spoke to him and I think it's because I spoke logic and he spoke about blowing things up. That must have been the attraction between the two of them. She knew how to handle a gun and explosives and could probably kill another human with her bare hands…and he loved that.

I needed to stop. I needed to accept the fact that he wasn't my type. Not in the very least. He was a gun toting, man beating, limited words, rough and tough man. He was hard and had a hard past. He was gritty and raw and at times, carried the world on his shoulders. He certainly carried me when I needed it. He saved me. He redeemed me. He was the one person that challenged me, and that's what I needed. And now...I had to admit, I was jealous. I cared about him. I wanted him, and if it wasn't mutual on his end, I didn't want a dishonest woman to take my place. I should have just sucked it up and told him I didn't like her. Hell, Guerrero and Winston didn't even like her.

I finished the flight plans and walked with them to the elevator. When the doors opened, Chance motioned for me to follow. I don't know why, because the last place I wanted to be was in a descending box with a manipulative woman and the man we both felt like we needed. I wanted to look Chance in the face and tell him what I really thought, but decided in that split second that she wasn't worth the hassle.

When we hit the ground floor, I had to hold in my sigh of relief. The doors opened and Chance didn't move. He looked at Maria, who was apparently waiting for some sort of affectionate reaction from him, but got none. She nodded and thanked the both of us for our willingness to help her save her so-called friend. I was respectable to her and extended my hand to close the deal.

A split second into the ride back up Chance leaned over and hit the emergency stop on the wall. The car came to an abrupt stop and I reached down to grab the handrail. I looked at him in question and narrowed my eyebrows. He just stood there staring, for what seemed like an eternity. I knew he was either upset over what was going on, or I had said something to upset him. I was relieved when he finally spoke.

"So, you're totally fine with this Ilsa?" Where did that come from? Of course I wasn't fine with it. It involved a shady woman who he was once with and now he wants me to hand over my wallet to appease her. Of course it was to help a good man, but it still involved her. I just nodded my head in agreement to acknowledge that I was accepting it rather than agreeing with it. He walked into my personal space, never breaking eye contact. As gritty and rough as he was, he had a way of presenting himself so that I couldn't deny him whatever he wanted. "I know you're not ok with this. In fact, I am a little shocked you went through with it. Of course I know it's to help a good man, but it involved….Maria. And I know you're jealous."

How dare him. How dare he call me out on something no other human should know. My being jealous of another woman. I wanted to tell him what I really thought, but then I would have looked like a lunatic. I knew he could tell I was slightly annoyed at my current elevator imprisonment, but he kept on with his evaluation. This time, he extended his arms around me, locking them in placed on the handrail. Now I was trapped, and even if the elevator started up again, I didn't have an affective escape route. His breathing was steady and he dissected as he looked me over.

"I know you're jealous. I saw the way you were looking at her and not to mention looking at the both of us. Did it bother you? Did it bother you that she kissed me, and that she puts her hand and arms all over me?" I shook my head. Where was this stemming from? For a man who knew little about women or reading them, he sure had a good sense on what was going on in my head.

"Chance, I'm not jealous. I just think she doesn't have the best intentions for the safety concerns of this team."

He smiled at me. He actually smiled at me. Did he think this torture was funny? Was he getting a thrill from it? He thought so because he leaned his lips right beside my ear. "Ilsa, I know you're jealous. It's perfectly natural to be. Don't deny that you are. People might think I don't know what's going on when it comes to women, but I can read them a little better when the clues are very obvious."

Well thank you Christopher Chance for making me the once incompetent woman who can't hold her feelings. I was slowly losing my mind because he kept sending shivers down the part of my neck where it met my shoulder blade.

"You shouldn't be. If anything, Maria is the one who should be jealous. I know you two are completely opposite of one another, but the truth is that I have more attraction to you than anyone on this team realizes. In fact, I don't know if you realize it. And trust me, if anyone should be jealous, it's me. I see how men look at you at all those charity parties and how they drool over your extremely revealing outfits. I see how they cuddle up to you and give you little touches. It really drives me nuts when they kiss you. Even if it's just on the cheek. Maria shouldn't be a threat to you. If there's any woman in this world who shouldn't ever have a jealous streak…it's you. You are much stronger than that. And for that matter, if you're jealous, then maybe you should be a little more assertive in your claim."

What could I say? Here I was trapped between his much stronger arms and in a stopped elevator. He wasn't even touching me. He was inches away and I could still feel the electricity that kept us connected. He was right. I was jealous. Not back-stabbing jealous, but jealous enough that this woman was using him. I didn't like it, and now he was calling me out on it. He had described my feelings in perfection and if I told him he was wrong, he would laugh and say I was in denial. So yet again, Ilsa Pucci, the fearless independent woman was being charmed by Christopher Chance, and there weren't any options of escape aside from the obvious. Even as I pondered my next move, he didn't let up.

"Of course I could be wrong. You might not really be attracted, and might not want to claim me as your own. Maybe I didn't know how to read you after all."

I struggled to find the right words as he started to pull away from me with a frown on his lips and I knew that I had to say something. In that very split second, the Ilsa Pucci everyone knew, including myself reared its beautiful head. Reaching out, I held a small bunch of fabric from his t-shirt, disallowing him to move away any further. He must have known I meant business because his previous frown turned into a look of concern.

"Let's get something straight. I have played the proper, respectable levelheaded woman all my life. I know I can be a pain at times but I seek the greater good in all things. With that said, this may be the one time I am going to be a little less lady like. YES, I am jealous. I don't like that woman. She might seem like she has great intentions, but she is cunning, deceiving and a bit heartless. I have a feeling deep down that she will use you…just like she did in the past. So I am not sorry for being jealous and as for claiming you, well…"

Then I kissed him. I pulled his shirt and brought his lips to mine and I kissed him…hard. I wanted to make sure he understood that this would define as the claiming he was referring to, and that if another woman attempted to hurt him, I would do something very unladylike. After a few moments I lightened my grip on his shirt and softened my lips over his. I didn't want to be overly obvious because he needed to give me just as much feedback. When I was done with my assault, I allowed him to lean back and meet my eyes.

"Well…Ilsa…I guess…wow. I wasn't expecting that to come out. But I can deal with it."

I watched as he moved to the other side of the elevator and released the stop button. When we got to the top floor, the doors opened and I confidently and slowly walked out. I knew he was watching me intently, and I made sure I took my own sweet time. I passed Winston who looked at me with question and then at Chance.

"Man, you got lipstick on you. DAMN CHANCE! Please don't tell me you are falling for that crazy gun-welding woman! She almost got you killed!"

Before he could say another word I turned around and looked at the both of them. "It's my lipstick Mr. Winston."

The burly man was is shock. I simply smiled and turned back towards my office. When I sat down, I busied myself with paperwork and making final arrangements for the team's rescue mission. The two men were laughing about something. No doubt my assertive actions over the past few minutes and it made me wonder. Maybe I needed to keep a little of that jealous streak when it came to dealing with Chance. I wasn't hurting anyone and I surely wasn't hurting him. It was enough for me to know personally that I can still understand when someone was moving in on my territory, especially another woman with bad intentions. I don't care if women admired him, but I knew at the end of the day where he wanted to be. He had offered his reassurance, but I didn't need it. I knew what I wanted, and it was him.


End file.
